HOOT, SMALLY!

Michele Bachmann is best known as the Congresswoman from Minnesota who believed that Congress needed to hold hearings to root out unAmerican elements in their midst. But you might not have known that she can change history with her MIND. I offer as evidence:

1. Earlier this week she noted the HISTORICAL TRUTHINESS that there have been two swine flu epidemics in U.S. history and both of them under Democratic Presidents. First under Carter in 1976 and the second under Obama in 2009. The only problem? Carter did not become President until 1977. NO MIND!

2. Bachmann has declared that the Great Depression was caused by FDR and the Hoot-Smalley Act. PAY NO MIND to the fact that it was actually the Smoot-Hawley Act passed in 1929 and signed by PRESIDENT HOOVER.

So I would like to start a new meme. Any time a member of the GOP says something with complete HISTORICAL TRUTHINESS, I'd like you to think of me! As if you would say, That Michele Bachmann is a Hoot, Smalley Wally! You may shorten it to, "AW...Hoot, Smalley!" I think this new phrase will get a lot of use in the next few years.

What's that Dubya? America doesn't torture? Well Hoot Smalley!

Haha! Khyra reminded me of this doozy of a Hoot, Smally!

100 Days!

President Obama has done many things in his first 100 days, most importantly keeping his campaign promise to get a dog. He also watched the Super Bowl in 3-D. You can read about 100 days here or look at the White House flickr photostream here!

And I know that we're in a recession but don't you think you could get the Secretary of State her own office?


Here's to 100 more, even better days! (more health care reformy, less recessiony):

Wheeeeeee!

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

Arlen Specter is now the senior Republican DEMOCRATIC Senator from the state of Pennsylvania. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I credit di-Bo-macy. They totally sent the pup to talk with him.

Bo Knows Fun!

My secret new Mom Michelle was quoted as saying that their new dog Bo is "kind of crazy":

It was like 10 o'clock. Everybody was asleep and we hear all this barking and jumping around," Mrs. Obama said. "The president and I came out and we thought somebody was out there. And it was just Bo. He was playing with his ball. And it was like there was another person in the house.

"He's kind of crazy, but he's still a puppy. So he likes to play a lot," she said.

What was unspoken was "But our REAL dog, Wally, is a perfect angel. In fact we often crate Rahm Emanuel during Cabinet meetings so that Wally can sit at the table."

Dispatches from Delaware Secret Undisclosed Location

I have a report from my secret undisclosed location. I had visitors. David Plouffe (Obama campaign manager) and Steve Schmidt (Rovian acolyte and senior adviser to McCain) were here. Dana Milbank wrote about it. So did I!

1. Steve Schmidt does not seem to like Sarah Palin.
2. Schmidt confirmed:
a) Joe Lieberman was McCain's pick but the party threatened a floor fight over abortion.
b) He supports same-sex marriage.
c) He was the one who didn't let Palin speak on election night. He said one of the most important parts of election night is conceding the loss and acknowledging the legitimacy of the process. He seemed to suggest either 1) Palin would not be conciliatory 2) she would be launching her next campaign instead of ending this one.
3. Plouffe was not crazy about the Clinton pick though he says he likes her now.
4. Plouffe and Obama are personality twins. They are both calm, measured, and funny and have the same vocal cadence and hand gestures. Either that or the campaign was, in fact, THE BORG.
5. Plouffe does a great job of why tackling energy and health care is not "taking on too much" and how they're integral to economic recovery. So why the administration ever lets Tim Geithner and Larry Summers in public is a mystery to me.
6. Mark Penn said, in Iowa, of the plethora of young volunteers who came out for the Jefferson-Jackson dinner for Obama "It looks like Facebook. Facebook doesn't caucus." HAHAHAHA. Why does that man get paid millions?

ETA: I suppose Schmidt gets some points for being conciliatory and certainly McCain's performance at the debates show that they were pretty resigned to a staggering defeat. When he referred to "that guy" you can imagine he felt a lot like the Yankees who were down by 20 runs in the 9th inning to the Indians. You want to give up. HOWEVER, if they were aware they were losing and had so much respect for the process, why did they go ahead with the kitchen sink strategy that included stoking racist fires with "pallin' around with terrorists" and the ACORN silliness, and the birth certificate madness they did little quash? Did they not think that just MIGHT interfere with the ability of the President to govern? And, frankly, I'm sick of them blaming "an unpopular president." He wasn't unpopular because he was wearing the wrong brand of jeans or something. He was unpopular because he had horrible policies informed by a flawed philosophy. A set of policies and a philosophy shared by the party as a whole and John McCain as a Republican! It's not the administration you should be blaming, it is your party's failed philosophy!

Impeachy

I am blogging from my SECRET UNDISCLOSED LOCATION where I am hiding due to the New Yorker leak of my identity. (I'm pretty sure Bob Novak is behind this.) And it is certainly not because I am a mama's boy who would not/could not sleep without her. Ahem.

Here's a nice video about the torture memos and the bizarre logic behind why NO ONE is being punished for it:

The Colbert Report

So if you would like to feel a little bit empowered, Think Progress is hosting a petition that suggestions that maybe, just maybe, someone who authorized torture should not be a Federal Judge and so Jay Bybee should be impeached.

First Dog

The New Yorker may be on to me. Look at their portrait of the first dog. Look familiar? Big Head. White Toes. White Chest. Big Heart.

I will have to withdraw to my secret undisclosed location.

Really? REALLY?

The Repugs have had several months to get used to being in the minority and, as anyone can tell you, it is much easier being a critic than being the one who actually has to fix things. So they pick April 15th for their big PROTEST, the rebirth of their party and what do they come up with? TEABAGGING. I love bawdy humor. And I love puns. YOU ARE TEASING ME, GOP! I will hand it over to one of my main ladies, Rachel:



Thank goodness I have been neutered or I'd have to let me testicle humor fly. And no one wants to get hit in the face with THAT.

SEEEEEE, GOP! This is what you make me do!

Bo in the (White) House!

My body double has arrived! Yes, Bo the Porto has arrived at the White House where he will be diverting all assassin's bullets from the First Corgador. You will note how they have stealthily picked a black and white dog with handsome-itude. Tell me this is not some concentrated cuteness:



Good on Bo for appearing to have zero interest in the media.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Meet my Body Double!

OK, the news is out. The Obamas are getting a puppy named Bo, a Portuguese Water Dog who is a gift from Ted Kennedy. Or so it would seem.

The Secret Service was obviously worried about my safety since the Most Handsome First Dog ever would clearly be a target for pirates, terrorists, and other ne'er do wells. So Bo will be the public face of the first dog while I will be instrumental behind the scenes:

In a statement, the Kennedys said: "We couldn't be happier to see the joy that Bo is bringing to Malia and Sasha. We love our Portuguese Water Dogs and know that the girls -- and their parents -- will love theirs too."

The choice of a Portie raised one complication. The Obamas have long said they wanted a rescue dog. But the carefully bred PWDs almost never end up in shelters. Bo had been living with another family, but it wasn't a good fit, so the Kennedys acquired him for the Obamas.

As for the rescue pledge, the Obamas came up with a solution intended to lend a serious symbolic note: They're going to make a donation to the D.C. Humane Society.

Bo will be introduced on Tuesday--I can't wait!

Things, Serious and Not

Moveon.org is hosting a petition that will be hand delivered by my friend Dr. Howard Dean if 250,000 sign it. The petition is about providing a public health insurance option. Unfortunately most of us probably know someone who has been hurt, indebted, or worse by our current system that is inefficient and expensive. Please sign! (Thanks for the link, Patience and Gus!)

And when you're done you should settle in to enjoy the weekend and read a little "First Guns," the blog of Michelle Obama's arms--Thunder and Lightning! They're outspoken feminists. Go Lady Guns!

You should also read Khyra's selection--Margaret and Helen! They are two sassy old ladies who like to chat about pawlitics. If I wasn't about to move in with Malia & Sasha they would most def be my new moms! We could ride around on our scooters drinking gin and making rude jokes about Repuglicans!

Here's Howard Dean IN THE HOUSE!

Obama Abroad

I know that it is HIGH TIME that I have a substantive post but today I feel like sharing this news from the G20 summit. Obama gave the Queen an iPod. I bet he told her how his daughters getting something even BETTER than a corgi--A CORGADOR.

Though I think he should consider bringing one of these guys back to lift his leg on the Republican caucus. I'm sure he could come up with a more reasonable budget than they did.