Jokester in Chief

Here's the President at the Correspondent's Dinner. He's funny!

Really? REALLY?

The Repugs have had several months to get used to being in the minority and, as anyone can tell you, it is much easier being a critic than being the one who actually has to fix things. So they pick April 15th for their big PROTEST, the rebirth of their party and what do they come up with? TEABAGGING. I love bawdy humor. And I love puns. YOU ARE TEASING ME, GOP! I will hand it over to one of my main ladies, Rachel:



Thank goodness I have been neutered or I'd have to let me testicle humor fly. And no one wants to get hit in the face with THAT.

SEEEEEE, GOP! This is what you make me do!

Truth is Stranger than Truth

The Daily Show dug up this 1986 ad for Tom Daschle who, of course, failed to pay taxes for a car and driver:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Moment of Zen - Tom Daschle's Old Car

Daily Show Full Episodes
Funny Political Videos

Important Things With Demetri Martin
More Funny Videos

I could TOTALLY take the job Daschle wanted--Secretary of Health and Human Services! I am super healthy and I do service for humans every day. I bark at them to tell them it is time to feed me, I let them pet me, I let them tell me how handsome I am, I let them let me rest my head in their laps, etc.

Though I hear that they might be considering Dr. Howard Dean, former head of the DNC< Vermont governor and the screamiest Presidential candidate EVAH!

Back in Business

I have been neglecting my pawlitical blog due to heavy lobbying to become the first party and planning my all out inauguration bash. I only have thirteen and a half days to plan! And where am I going to put all these cases of Cristal????

In the meantime, here is an awesome video on the search for the first dog! Anderson Cooper WILL NOT take my place!

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Road to the Doghouse - Puppedential Debate

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Best Headline

From the Onion: "Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job."

As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, "It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can't catch a break."

See also: "Nation Finally Shitty Enough to Make Social Progress."

Northward Ho!

Get ready, Sophie! I'm on my way!

Godwin's Law!

My ma ape is currently teaching a course on political ideologies and found this image too deliciously funny to not post and proliferate. Where was this lovely piece of political wit and wisdom posted? Why, at the John McCain offices in Pompano, FL! Down with youth movements! Don't trust anyone under 65!

Gus, please tell your dad he needs to seriously revise his textbooks on Ideologies to reflect this Brave New World!

A Visual Summary of the Debate

H/T Shakesville.

Pal-in' around some more!

Gus always brings the funny.




Yes, terriers is spelled wrong. That's just how shady this Obama fellow is. He thinks he can hide the truth by spelling it wrong. (Gus, do you think he will be a pal with you, the terrierist? Can you hook me up with the Obama girls???? I am the dog they never knew they wanted. I just know it!)

And here is a video of Rethug David Frum whining to Rachel Maddow about how her funny, witty, sarcastic humor is NOT FAIR. Call the waaaaaaaahhhhmbulance, the white dudes are being oppressed!

ZING!

Here's what ol' Delaware Joe is good for (other than foreign policy experience and legislative mojo):

Speaking in Missouri Thursday, the VP candidate responds to Gov. Palin’s dig that he’s been in the Senate since she was in second grade:

“That’s true, but she was in sixth grade the last time John had a new idea.”

Can I call ya Joe?

Thank you Gus for making my ma ape fall off the couch laughing with this wonderful clip from SNL:



And thank you, Tina Fey, for perfectly capturing the most absurd persona in American politics ever.

Like Lincoln-Douglas!

Tonight's debate will be like Lincoln-Douglas. If Stephen Douglas had been a kinda sleazy guy with unclear positions on some of the most important issues of his day who made his money by marrying rich and who deployed racist rhetoric in his campaign and worried about looking ridiculously short next to his lean, lanky and long opponent. Oh wait!

McSame has been doing what some in the media call "Hail Mary" plays--like when the team that is behind is desperate and just heaves the ball at the end one and hopes their team catches. Surprise! I'm going to nominate a completely unexpected (because she is completely unqualified!) Veep! Surprise! I'm suspending the campaign! (Except for the advertising, appearance, interview and fundraising bits.)

And now on Slate they have some suggestions for McSame's next Hail Mary!

1. Returns to Vietnam and jails himself.

2. Offers the post of "vice vice president" to Warren Buffett.

3. Challenges Obama to suspend campaign so they both can go and personally drill for oil offshore.

4. Learns to use computer.

5. Does bombing run over Taliban-controlled tribal areas of Pakistan.

6. Offers to forgo salary, sell one house.

7. Sex-change operation.

8. Suspends campaign until Nov. 4, offers to start being president right now.

9. Sells Alaska to Russia for $700 billion.

10. Pledges to serve only one term. OK, half a term.

Thanks to Gus and his Muzzer for the link to the funny picture and their hearty sense of humor.

It's Debatin' Time

Maybe if John McSame decides he doesn't want to debate--or more likely that he wants to debate when Sarah Palin was supposed to debate Delaware Joe because whew was that interview with Palin and Katie Couric embarrassing--maybe Obama should go it alone! Like Stephen Colbert's Formidable Opponent! Or instead of a debate Obama could have a dance-off with Stephen like he had with Rain! (Though he might want to have Michelle dance for him. I saw them both on Ellen and Obama dances like he has a mom from Kansas).

Here's more funny, courtesy of David Letterman. McSame blew him off yesterday for a last minute interview with Couric that bumped off most of Palin's embarrassing inability to answer basic questions. Dave is not pleased:

Paw-litical Satire

From the Internets. Our guv-mint is a 419 scam!

> Dear American:
> I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business
> relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
> I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America.
> My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large
> transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would
> assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to
> you.
> I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will
> be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As
> a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American
> banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin
> is 100% safe.
> This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check.
> We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly
> transfer these funds in the names of our close friends
> because we are constantly under surveillance. My family
> lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and
> trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the
> funds can be transferred.
> Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college
> fund account numbers and those of your children and
> grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we
> may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I
> receive that information, I will respond with detailed
> information about safeguards that will be used to protect
> the funds.
> Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson

All the News Fit to Watch!

Hey! I'm like a fuzzy TiVo. Here's some great stuff from the TeeVee:

Rachel Maddow on The Women's Vote and why women might care more that--while Palin was mayor--Wasilla, AK charged women for their own rape kits than the fact that some uber-rich woman endorsed McSame:



Stephen Colbert spreads dirty lies about McCain because he won't come on the show:



Stephen explains why we haven't caught Bin Laden:

Some Pigs Lie, Some Pigs Fly

My girl Narra sent me this.


And my GranNE sent me this blog post from the Washington Monthly. If Faux News thinks you're a bunch of Lying McLiars who Lie like Rugs, you're REALLY lying!

EVEN FOX NEWS.... I guess we've reached a tipping point. This morning, Fox News' Megyn Kelly was downright indignant, on the air, about the McCain campaign's dishonesty. Yes, I was surprised, too.

McCain campaign spokesman Tucker Bounds, as is his habit, started lying about Barack Obama's tax plan. Much to my surprise -- and Bounds' -- Kelly interrupted, and said Obama wouldn't raise taxes on middle-class families.

Bounds pushed back, but Kelly pressed further: "[Y]ou guys have suggested he's going to raise taxes on the middle class and virtually every independent analyst who took a look at that claim said that's not true. He'll raise it on people making $200,000 or $250,000, but not the middle class."

When Bounds said Kelly was giving Obama a lot of credit, she replied, "I'm not giving him any credit. I'm saying what the independent analysts say. They say that claim is false. And if that's false, why would John McCain do that, Tucker? ... [W]hy say he's going to raise taxes on the middle class when he's not?"

His back against the wall, Bounds justified his bogus claims by arguing that Obama voted to raise taxes in the Senate 94 times (which is false), and saying Obama wanted to raise taxes on those making $42,000 a year (which is also false).

It's consistent with the pattern established by the McCain campaign -- caught in a lie, utilize additional lies.

Stepping back, though, Bounds probably never expected Megyn Kelly to confront him with reality, or to call him out on his mendacity. If the McCain campaign's dishonesty is even turning off Fox News, the "McCain lies a lot" narrative may be taking root after all.

—Steve Benen 11:15 AM Permalink | Trackbacks | Comments (20)



But Faux News criticizing a Republican't? Watch for flying pigs!

Sunday Funny!

Ohmydog I have to show you the most awesome thing EVER!

Look!
My friend Alice got my ma ape something VERY FUNNY for her burpday last month. It is a Bobblefoot! Alice--in between searching for the plane that Sarah Palin put on eBay but did not actually sell--located and bought this COLLECTOR'S ITEM that was given out at a St. Paul Saints game.

Congratulations to Senator Larry Craig, your wide stance will truly live in infamy.

MORE Friday Funnies!

It is FUN to laugh at the McSame campaign!

Friday Funny

The caption says: Awaiting Inspiration.

UR Doin It Wrong

That could just be the slogan of the GOP, eh? Visitor K gave me a link to this photo:


Oh you elitist liberals with your SPELLING and GRAMMAR.