Dahlia Lithwick has a nice piece over on Slate about the latest trend in GOP hypocrisy (it never goes out of style!) They are now whining about Obama judicial nominees, demanding he re-nominate Bush nominees, his nominees aren't being open enough and oh yeah he's politicizing the prooooooooooocess.
I would like to propose a rule change. For each act of hypocrisy, we feed one of you to a hippo. The hippo may suffer a little indigestion but I think it is a sacrifice the hippos would make for us. Hipp-ocracy before Idiocracy!
So last weekend this HBO Word Deleted bully pulled up next to my good bud Alice as she was driving home. She's exactly the kind of lady I like. She's smart, politically passionate, and thinks I'm adorable. And she has Obama magnets on her car. So this dude in a Land Rover pulls up next to her (him in a big car with other people with him) and he tells her to roll down the window. He then asks her "So, are you happy NOW?" as if somehow in less than two months Barack Obama invaded two countries (one on false pretenses), deregulated every industry he could get his grubby hands on, lost any moral standing we had in the world, and ran up an unimaginable deficit and put our country on loan to China. Remember how great the previous 8 years were! Oh yes, these seven weeks are what have done us in!
So this is the kind of tuff guy who would, in his very large vehicle with a group of people with him, choose to try to intimidate a woman by herself because she has an Obama magnet. I'm not going to speculate on his issues with masculinity but, well, you are welcome to do so. In any case, he's the kind of guy who would complain that our country is becoming socialist and guys like him outta Go Galt! He's like Joe the Plumber who complains that the government is going to tax him out of his ambition even though he is no where near the actual tax bracket whose taxes are going to return to the rate they were in the great communist heyday of the 1990s but he genuinely believes that if there were any justice in the world he WOULD BE but it is only that darned government and undeserving women/minorities, pointy headed academics, and OTHER PEOPLE who are keeping him from having the house with the pool and a wife half his age.
So, to this Manly Man who decided to antagonize MY friend. I understand that you're afraid of the government led by a President who speaks in complete sentences and so you have to pick on women. I understand, when you're that pathetic you do probably need something to give you hope that your life is not as meaningless as it actually seems. And I'm sure it doesn't feel good that you have, no doubt, voted (probably twice) for one of if not the worst President in history. You lose, man.
I have a sneaking suspicion you might have a lot in common with the guy interviewed here by Sam Bee. A shell of a human being. Not so bright, not realizing that YOU are the joke, on the losing side of history. You're the type of guy who actually thinks he deserves his AIG bonus because he works so much harder than and is so much smarter than other people even though he just ran everything into the ground. So here's a video for all the smart women who have to tolerate these *HBO WORD*s and have enough self-restraint to not stick their middle fingers in your eyes and/or point and laugh at your crotch.
Gus sent me this vid of a sing-along version of the O'bama song! I like it because it sings about Joe Biden (his Mom, Katherine Eugenia Finnegan Biden--she's a wee bit Irish--is recovering from hip surgery! Get better, Jean!) And also it rhymes "ignorama" with "Obama." And "ignorama" is in reference to Dark Lord Cheney! ha-rooo! I'll drink to that!
If you haven't seen it, you should watch Jon Stewart's interview with Jim Cramer of CNBC, the network that allowed Rick Santelli to call people losing their homes "losers." I generally prefer The Colbert Report for unrestrained silliness and I've never been really impressed with J.S.'s interviewing skills but he came prepared!
My friend Gus suggested that SOME may claim that a swingset on the White House lawn pictured in my previous post is undignified, especially in these serious times. So I have decided to help you all out with the GOP guide to propriety:
Undignified: Swing set on lawn. Dignified: President choking on pretzel during football game.
Undignified: Women with bare arms. Dignified: Ann Coulter with bare legs and clavicles.
Undignified: A Presidential candidate who admits he tried cocaine as a teenager. Dignified: A Presidential candidate with a DUI and a talk radio host who doctor shops for painkillers.
Undignified: "Conspiracy Theories" that terrorism suspects have been tortured in U.S. custody. Dignified: Conspiracy Theories that the President is Not A U.S. Citizen. (Pssst--I bet the real birth certificate is hidden wherever the Clintons buried all those bodies.
Undignified: Inquiring about the health of a 72-year-old Presidential candidate who would be succeeded in office by someone who cannot name a Supreme Court case other than Roe v. Wade. Dignified: Stating that a Supreme Court justice being treated for pancreatic cancer will be dead within the year as if that's a good thing.
Jake and Just Harry dropped by to ask why I've stopped Barking for Barack, especially with all the mayhem and foolishness that is Congressional Republicans, Flush Limbaugh, and the highly successful roll-out of Republican tokens Michael Steele and Bobby Jindal. (GOP: Diversity: UR DOIN IT RONG).
I have much more to say, especially about CPAC which, unfortunately, I had thought was going to be the first exciting meeting of the Corgador Pawlitical Action Committee (first goal: add bully stick procurement to the stimulus package.)
But it is the weekend and I am not going to let the nattering naboobs of negativity get me down so here's a picture to cheer you up:
Welcome to the dogocracy where we bark pawliticks. Cats will be allowed on an approval basis. Trolls will be chewed up like bully sticks. If you would like to contribute please e-mail me at wallythecorgador at comcast dott net.