Thursday, September 17, 2009

Nerd In Chief


Representative Wilson, the President is ready to see you.

or, alternatively,

The President gets ready to incinerate the awful health care reform bill sent up by Max Baucus and get some real change up in here. Right, RIGHT?

(My favorite part of this photo is the women standing behind them, obviously mocking.)

Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Sunday Funnys

I have an assignment for you. Please go read this post by Margaret and Helen. Go on, I'll wait here iwth Monkey Stick.

In theantime I'd like to invite Margaret and Helen to come sit on my porch with me, drink gin and tonics, and make teabagging jokes.
Link

Monday, August 31, 2009

Political Paws


My fellow barkers Jake and Just Harry posted this link and I just had to re-post it (though you should go read their blog, too! They are wise wires!): Kennedy's Dogs Will Be Missed on the Hill.

Here's a sample:

With the exception of the Senate floor, there were few places Splash, Sunny and Cappy didn’t have access to, including committee hearings and, once, even the Oval Office. It was a rare day when the Massachusetts lawmaker wasn’t shadowed by at least one of the pooches, whether Kennedy’s schedule brought him an office full of visitors or a committee bill markup.

A powerful man with a booming voice and a formidable family legacy, Kennedy often used his dogs to break the ice with Republican lawmakers, to relax nervous visitors and to put political personalities to the sniff test.

...But Kennedy's dogs weren’t saints either. Like a parent of spoiled children, the senator was loving but a poor disciplinarian.

Splash has been known to bark impatiently during long meetings. The dog once sent White House staffers into a frenzy when the pooch began barking in the Oval Office. Kennedy and his pets were at the White House waiting for the start of a religious freedom bill signing ceremony with President Clinton.

As you may know, because of MA law they cannot hold a special election to fill the seat until January. Rather than depriving the good people of MA of representation, the solution seems obvious to me...let the Porties govern! I have no doubt that they will draft legislation in their owner's honor that will guarantee health care for evert American and a tennis ball in every (dog) mouth!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Dogs on Vacation

It's hard being Top Dog (or the Body Double for the Top Dog. Though the Secret Service doesn't like me to talk about it.)

All right, Republicans in the Senate, the Big Dog is back in town. Quit yet fear mongering or I'll put YOU on this awesome leash! But it will be a short leash.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Remembering

The dog at the Portuguese Water Blog (Ha! I love a good play on words) remember Ted as a compassionate guy who worked hard for their breed. I wanted to end this sad week with a happy photo of Ted and his dog, taking care of business! I'd like to think that this guy has a mischevious look in his eye not only because he's getting to play ball at the Capitol but because he left a little "present" for Chuck Grassley under his desk.

We miss ya already, Teddy!

Domestic Terrorism

This weekend in Nebraska, home of the great GranNE, Operation Rescue is staging a protest of Dr. LeRoy Carhart who is one of the last providers of late-term abortions and was a friend of Dr. George Tiller who was brutally murdered in his church in Wichita, KS this summer. Dr. Carhart, an OB/GYN, decided to open a full-time abortion clinic after abortion opponents set fire to his farm. His clinic has also been targeted by arsonists. With people assassinating doctors and carrying weapons to political rallies it is clear that some people believe that when they lose via the democratic process they have the right to enforce their ideas via violence. It is important to not be intimidated in the face of terrorism so women's groups are organizing counter-protests at the clinic. If anyone out there is in the area please support Dr. Carhart.

Here's a rare public interview with Dr. Carhart:


I'd like to note Dr.Carhart's button reads "Trust Women." Operation Rescue is led by one guy who is feuding with another guy (Randall Terry) over who gets to use the name "Operation Rescue." Who do you think is really on the side of women?

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Goodnight, Ted.

We lost a good friend. A friend to a lot of people less fortunate than himself, a friend to people who didn't have access to the halls of power and, of course, a friend to dogs.

Joe Biden on Ted Kennedy:



From Jake and Just Harry:

If only his death has some meaning in helping restore a degree of civility and working for the common good.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Give 'em hell, Barney.

I think Barney Frank might be part corgador.



Yes, lady, nothing smacks of Nazism than wanting everyone to have health care. So evil.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The Birth of Wally

Nefarious sources (fox "news") have suggested that I may not actually be qualified to be First Dog because I am not a Natural Born Citizen. They have asked me to produce my birth certificate. Here you go!



Get yours here!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Happy 48th Burpday, Mr. President!


I had prepared a saucy rendition of Happy Burpday Mr. President but my ma ape said it was so hot it would melt the internets.

I say everyone have yourself a slice of cake to celebrate, the commander in chief's chief commander (me, not Rahm Emanuel!) says so!

UPDATE! The Prez just showed up at the press briefing to wish Helen Thomas, who is turning 84 today, a happy birthday and give her cupcakes. Woo!



OK, I had to add this photo because it is just THE AWESOME.

The president seems to enjoy distributing cakey substances. I hope this is not his health care plan, though I would like a cupcake WITH my single-payer health care plan. Frosted with low-low copays and a creamy affordable prescription drug plan inside. In the meantime I will continue to eat cupcakes. For my health.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Missing Colbert

Deaniacs! Here's some Howard in the Sunday New York Times. I'd be interested to know what went on between him n' Rahm. I hope he works hard to get us some health care. Here he is being funny making videos for Stephen Colbert. You are viral on MY blog, Dr. Dean!

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Exclusive - Backstage with Howard Dean
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorJeff Goldblum



And here is a funny Word from Stephen Colbert about the Obama administration and gay rights. Well played, Colbert.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Stonewalling
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorJeff Goldblum


Yes, I have missed you, Stephen. I can't wait to hear what you have to say about The Sotomayor hearings. (Good luck, Sonia! And if you ever need a Wise Old Corgador as clerk, I'm your dude! I will need to nap between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m.)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Health Care, PLZ.

MoveOn is hosting events for a Public Health Care Option. You can check here to see if Linkthere is one in YOUR area. (We're knockin' on Senator Carper's door tomorrow!)

I wonder if the Public Plan will cover disemboweled stuffies? Hmmm.

The Endumbening


My ma ape's discipline just lost a little street cred (and by street cred I mean nerd cred):

from TPM:

Alberto Gonzales lines up teaching gig for the fall.

Late Update: TPM Reader RS:

Please tell me there's at least one Texas Tech political science student with the guts to answer "I do not recall" to every test question. Maybe even "I do not recall remembering."

As the report I link above notes, Gonzo will be "teaching a 'special topics' course on contemporary issues in the executive branch."

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy Burpday Malia (and America)


My new mom Malia is turning 11 today! What do you think she will get me?

Friday, July 3, 2009

Is Anyone in Charge? and An Announcement


If you have a Republican governor in your state I would strongly recommend figuring out if anyone is actually still doing their job.

In the meantime, I would like to announce that I am running to be governor of Alaska. It appears to require few skills and I have very few. I am too old to hike the Appalachian trail, though I will fess up to having fondness for Canadian Bacon. I have no ethics violations (I have been cleared of all charges after biting my gramps). I have been blogging for a long time so I have no doubt I could weather the glaring media scrutiny and even David Letterman making jokes about me. And I don't wear clothes so my wardrobe will be very inexpensive. Link
As a side note, I am not interested in moving to Alaska so I hope they have Skype on their computer.

AMENDMENT: Khyra is interested in being my Lieutenant Governor which I wholeheartedly endorse, especially since I will probably get bored after a few months and pursue my national political career which I am hoping will lead to a seat on the Supreme Court, preferably on the lap of Ruth Bader Ginsberg who is SASSY.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Don't Cry for me (in) Argentina!

So sorry for my unexplained absence. I have been hiking the Appalachian Trail practicing my wide stance bonding with Congressional pages comforting my videographer and/or staff members' wives trying to find a faithful Republican.

If you are looking for something more worthwhile than chasing Argentine Tail hiking the Appalachian Trail, you may want to watch Obama's special "Prescription for America."

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Good Boy!

My buddy Moose was looking for video of this. I have only found the pho-to version. If anyone knows where to find the video please post it in comments!

(P.S. Bo was distracting the media so I could poop right where the Fox cameraguy was about to step. Ooops!)

Friday, May 22, 2009

Notes on the Former Administration

Former President Bush has found a job for which he is qualified:

ARTESIA, N.M. - It was a humbling moment for the former commander in chief: President George W. Bush was walking former first dog Barney in his new Dallas neighborhood when it stopped in a neighbor's yard for relief.

"And there I was, former president of the United States of America, with a plastic bag on my hand," he told a group of graduating high school students in New Mexico on Thursday. "Life is returning back to normal."

Dick "Dick" Cheney has not.

In his case I would not trust him around dogs.


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Gus, You're Needed in Airy-Zona!

There has been some controversy about the decision by Arizona State to not honor President Obama, who is speaking at their graduation, with an honorary degree. Things appear to have really gone downhill there since Gus and his dad left. They clearly need his WFT wisdom BACK (his being Gus's but his dad is pretty darn smart, I mean, for a non-WFT):

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
Arizona State Snubs Obama
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Economic CrisisPolitical Humor


Or would Gus be playing beer pong with the coeds?

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Jokester in Chief

Here's the President at the Correspondent's Dinner. He's funny!



Monday, May 4, 2009

Ewwwwww!



I was watching the news today and I had to cover Oscar's eyes and ears because Michele Bachmann had a particularly gross Hoot Smally (see below) today.

On Saturday, May 2, Bachmann delivered a rally speech in which she said the administration had engaged in an "orgy" of spending and that the government "spent its wad" too early. The previous administration, she noted, hadn't spent its wad until early August.

OHMYDOG Michele! Stop being so filthymouthed! She has been to too many teabagging parties, I think.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

HOOT, SMALLY!


Michele Bachmann is best known as the Congresswoman from Minnesota who believed that Congress needed to hold hearings to root out unAmerican elements in their midst. But you might not have known that she can change history with her MIND. I offer as evidence:

1. Earlier this week she noted the HISTORICAL TRUTHINESS that there have been two swine flu epidemics in U.S. history and both of them under Democratic Presidents. First under Carter in 1976 and the second under Obama in 2009. The only problem? Carter did not become President until 1977. NO MIND!

2. Bachmann has declared that the Great Depression was caused by FDR and the Hoot-Smalley Act. PAY NO MIND to the fact that it was actually the Smoot-Hawley Act passed in 1929 and signed by PRESIDENT HOOVER.

So I would like to start a new meme. Any time a member of the GOP says something with complete HISTORICAL TRUTHINESS, I'd like you to think of me! As if you would say, That Michele Bachmann is a Hoot, Smalley Wally! You may shorten it to, "AW...Hoot, Smalley!" I think this new phrase will get a lot of use in the next few years.

What's that Dubya? America doesn't torture? Well Hoot Smalley!

Haha! Khyra reminded me of this doozy of a Hoot, Smally!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

100 Days!

President Obama has done many things in his first 100 days, most importantly keeping his campaign promise to get a dog. He also watched the Super Bowl in 3-D. You can read about 100 days here or look at the White House flickr photostream here!

And I know that we're in a recession but don't you think you could get the Secretary of State her own office?


Here's to 100 more, even better days! (more health care reformy, less recessiony):

Wheeeeeee!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!


Arlen Specter is now the senior Republican DEMOCRATIC Senator from the state of Pennsylvania. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I credit di-Bo-macy. They totally sent the pup to talk with him.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Bo Knows Fun!


My secret new Mom Michelle was quoted as saying that their new dog Bo is "kind of crazy":

It was like 10 o'clock. Everybody was asleep and we hear all this barking and jumping around," Mrs. Obama said. "The president and I came out and we thought somebody was out there. And it was just Bo. He was playing with his ball. And it was like there was another person in the house.Link

"He's kind of crazy, but he's still a puppy. So he likes to play a lot," she said.

What was unspoken was "But our REAL dog, Wally, is a perfect angel. In fact we often crate Rahm Emanuel during Cabinet meetings so that Wally can sit at the table."

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Dispatches from Delaware Secret Undisclosed Location


I have a report from my secret undisclosed location. I had visitors. David Plouffe (Obama campaign manager) and Steve Schmidt (Rovian acolyte and senior adviser to McCain) were here. Dana Milbank wrote about it. So did I!

1. Steve Schmidt does not seem to like Sarah Palin.
2. Schmidt confirmed:
a) Joe Lieberman was McCain's pick but the party threatened a floor fight over abortion.
b) He supports same-sex marriage.
c) He was the one who didn't let Palin speak on election night. He said one of the most important parts of election night is conceding the loss and acknowledging the legitimacy of the process. He seemed to suggest either 1) Palin would not be conciliatory 2) she would be launching her next campaign instead of ending this one.
3. Plouffe was not crazy about the Clinton pick though he says he likes her now.
4. Plouffe and Obama are personality twins. They are both calm, measured, and funny and have the same vocal cadence and hand gestures. Either that or the campaign was, in fact, THE BORG.
5. Plouffe does a great job of why tackling energy and health care is not "taking on too much" and how they're integral to economic recovery. So why the administration ever lets Tim Geithner and Larry Summers in public is a mystery to me.
6. Mark Penn said, in Iowa, of the plethora of young volunteers who came out for the Jefferson-Jackson dinner for Obama "It looks like Facebook. Facebook doesn't caucus." HAHAHAHA. Why does that man get paid millions?

ETA: I suppose Schmidt gets some points for being conciliatory and certainly McCain's performance at the debates show that they were pretty resigned to a staggering defeat. When he referred to "that guy" you can imagine he felt a lot like the Yankees who were down by 20 runs in the 9th inning to the Indians. You want to give up. HOWEVER, if they were aware they were losing and had so much respect for the process, why did they go ahead with the kitchen sink strategy that included stoking racist fires with "pallin' around with terrorists" and the ACORN silliness, and the birth certificate madness they did little quash? Did they not think that just MIGHT interfere with the ability of the President to govern? And, frankly, I'm sick of them blaming "an unpopular president." He wasn't unpopular because he was wearing the wrong brand of jeans or something. He was unpopular because he had horrible policies informed by a flawed philosophy. A set of policies and a philosophy shared by the party as a whole and John McCain as a Republican! It's not the administration you should be blaming, it is your party's failed philosophy!

Impeachy

I am blogging from my SECRET UNDISCLOSED LOCATION where I am hiding due to the New Yorker leak of my identity. (I'm pretty sure Bob Novak is behind this.) And it is certainly not because I am a mama's boy who would not/could not sleep without her. Ahem.

Here's a nice video about the torture memos and the bizarre logic behind why NO ONE is being punished for it:

The Colbert Report




So if you would like to feel a little bit empowered, Think Progress is hosting a petition that suggestions that maybe, just maybe, someone who authorized torture should not be a Federal Judge and so Jay Bybee should be impeached.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

First Dog

The New Yorker may be on to me. Look at their portrait of the first dog. Look familiar? Big Head. White Toes. White Chest. Big Heart.

I will have to withdraw to my secret undisclosed location.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Really? REALLY?

The Repugs have had several months to get used to being in the minority and, as anyone can tell you, it is much easier being a critic than being the one who actually has to fix things. So they pick April 15th for their big PROTEST, the rebirth of their party and what do they come up with? TEABAGGING. I love bawdy humor. And I love puns. YOU ARE TEASING ME, GOP! I will hand it over to one of my main ladies, Rachel:



Thank goodness I have been neutered or I'd have to let me testicle humor fly. And no one wants to get hit in the face with THAT.

SEEEEEE, GOP! This is what you make me do!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Bo in the (White) House!

My body double has arrived! Yes, Bo the Porto has arrived at the White House where he will be diverting all assassin's bullets from the First Corgador. You will note how they have stealthily picked a black and white dog with handsome-itude. Tell me this is not some concentrated cuteness:



Good on Bo for appearing to have zero interest in the media.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Meet my Body Double!



OK, the news is out. The Obamas are getting a puppy named Bo, a Portuguese Water Dog who is a gift from Ted Kennedy. Or so it would seem.

The Secret Service was obviously worried about my safety since the Most Handsome First Dog ever would clearly be a target for pirates, terrorists, and other ne'er do wells. So Bo will be the public face of the first dog while I will be instrumental behind the scenes:

In a statement, the Kennedys said: "We couldn't be happier to see the joy that Bo is bringing to Malia and Sasha. We love our Portuguese Water Dogs and know that the girls -- and their parents -- will love theirs too."

The choice of a Portie raised one complication. The Obamas have long said they wanted a rescue dog. But the carefully bred PWDs almost never end up in shelters. Bo had been living with another family, but it wasn't a good fit, so the Kennedys acquired him for the Obamas.

As for the rescue pledge, the Obamas came up with a solution intended to lend a serious symbolic note: They're going to make a donation to the D.C. Humane Society.

Bo will be introduced on Tuesday--I can't wait!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Things, Serious and Not

Moveon.org is hosting a petition that will be hand delivered by my friend Dr. Howard Dean if 250,000 sign it. The petition is about providing a public health insurance option. Unfortunately most of us probably know someone who has been hurt, indebted, or worse by our current system that is inefficient and expensive. Please sign! (Thanks for the link, Patience and Gus!)

And when you're done you should settle in to enjoy the weekend and read a little "First Guns," the blog of Michelle Obama's arms--Thunder and Lightning! They're outspoken feminists. Go Lady Guns!

You should also read Khyra's selection--Margaret and Helen! They are two sassy old ladies who like to chat about pawlitics. If I wasn't about to move in with Malia & Sasha they would most def be my new moms! We could ride around on our scooters drinking gin and making rude jokes about Repuglicans!

Here's Howard Dean IN THE HOUSE!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Obama Abroad



I know that it is HIGH TIME that I have a substantive post but today I feel like sharing this news from the G20 summit. Obama gave the Queen an iPod. I bet he told her how his daughters getting something even BETTER than a corgi--A CORGADOR.

Though I think he should consider bringing one of these guys back to lift his leg on the Republican caucus. I'm sure he could come up with a more reasonable budget than they did.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Joe-Mance!


Something to brighten a rainy day.

Also, workers in France are holding a 3M executive hostage until they can sit down and have proper labor negotiations. I see a way out of this bonus-impasse...

Friday, March 20, 2009

Rock the Mic(hael Steele!)

It's the weekend and time for some TUNES:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Michael Steele's Rap Battle Response
comedycentral.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorMark Sanford

Hippocracy!


Dahlia Lithwick has a nice piece over on Slate about the latest trend in GOP hypocrisy (it never goes out of style!) They are now whining about Obama judicial nominees, demanding he re-nominate Bush nominees, his nominees aren't being open enough and oh yeah he's politicizing the prooooooooooocess.

I would like to propose a rule change. For each act of hypocrisy, we feed one of you to a hippo. The hippo may suffer a little indigestion but I think it is a sacrifice the hippos would make for us. Hipp-ocracy before Idiocracy!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Wally's Women! A Rant

So last weekend this HBO Word Deleted bully pulled up next to my good bud Alice as she was driving home. She's exactly the kind of lady I like. She's smart, politically passionate, and thinks I'm adorable. And she has Obama magnets on her car. So this dude in a Land Rover pulls up next to her (him in a big car with other people with him) and he tells her to roll down the window. He then asks her "So, are you happy NOW?" as if somehow in less than two months Barack Obama invaded two countries (one on false pretenses), deregulated every industry he could get his grubby hands on, lost any moral standing we had in the world, and ran up an unimaginable deficit and put our country on loan to China. Remember how great the previous 8 years were! Oh yes, these seven weeks are what have done us in!

So this is the kind of tuff guy who would, in his very large vehicle with a group of people with him, choose to try to intimidate a woman by herself because she has an Obama magnet. I'm not going to speculate on his issues with masculinity but, well, you are welcome to do so. In any case, he's the kind of guy who would complain that our country is becoming socialist and guys like him outta Go Galt! He's like Joe the Plumber who complains that the government is going to tax him out of his ambition even though he is no where near the actual tax bracket whose taxes are going to return to the rate they were in the great communist heyday of the 1990s but he genuinely believes that if there were any justice in the world he WOULD BE but it is only that darned government and undeserving women/minorities, pointy headed academics, and OTHER PEOPLE who are keeping him from having the house with the pool and a wife half his age.

So, to this Manly Man who decided to antagonize MY friend. I understand that you're afraid of the government led by a President who speaks in complete sentences and so you have to pick on women. I understand, when you're that pathetic you do probably need something to give you hope that your life is not as meaningless as it actually seems. And I'm sure it doesn't feel good that you have, no doubt, voted (probably twice) for one of if not the worst President in history. You lose, man.

I have a sneaking suspicion you might have a lot in common with the guy interviewed here by Sam Bee. A shell of a human being. Not so bright, not realizing that YOU are the joke, on the losing side of history. You're the type of guy who actually thinks he deserves his AIG bonus because he works so much harder than and is so much smarter than other people even though he just ran everything into the ground. So here's a video for all the smart women who have to tolerate these *HBO WORD*s and have enough self-restraint to not stick their middle fingers in your eyes and/or point and laugh at your crotch.



I wish I could carry around Sam Bee with me at all time and unleash her on all the bullying jerks out there.

And dude? Yes, we are pretty happy. And we didn't even have to bully anyone to feel better about ourselves!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Thanks, we need the luck!

Reeeeee-mix!



Gus sent me this vid of a sing-along version of the O'bama song! I like it because it sings about Joe Biden (his Mom, Katherine Eugenia Finnegan Biden--she's a wee bit Irish--is recovering from hip surgery! Get better, Jean!) And also it rhymes "ignorama" with "Obama." And "ignorama" is in reference to Dark Lord Cheney! ha-rooo! I'll drink to that!

Our Irish President!

Friday, March 13, 2009

Mad Laughs!

If you haven't seen it, you should watch Jon Stewart's interview with Jim Cramer of CNBC, the network that allowed Rick Santelli to call people losing their homes "losers." I generally prefer The Colbert Report for unrestrained silliness and I've never been really impressed with J.S.'s interviewing skills but he came prepared!







I wonder why our only journalists are comedians (and the Republicans are the new--accidental--comedians).

And since we're all accused of socialism now that's a good excuse to post this.

Friday, March 6, 2009

The Party of Propriety

My friend Gus suggested that SOME may claim that a swingset on the White House lawn pictured in my previous post is undignified, especially in these serious times. So I have decided to help you all out with the GOP guide to propriety:

Undignified: Swing set on lawn.
Dignified: President choking on pretzel during football game.

Undignified: Women with bare arms.
Dignified: Ann Coulter with bare legs and clavicles.

Undignified: A Presidential candidate who admits he tried cocaine as a teenager.
Dignified: A Presidential candidate with a DUI and a talk radio host who doctor shops for painkillers.

Undignified: "Conspiracy Theories" that terrorism suspects have been tortured in U.S. custody.
Dignified: Conspiracy Theories that the President is Not A U.S. Citizen. (Pssst--I bet the real birth certificate is hidden wherever the Clintons buried all those bodies.

Undignified: Inquiring about the health of a 72-year-old Presidential candidate who would be succeeded in office by someone who cannot name a Supreme Court case other than Roe v. Wade.
Dignified: Stating that a Supreme Court justice being treated for pancreatic cancer will be dead within the year as if that's a good thing.

I think I have made my point.

The Return of the Paw-litical

Jake and Just Harry dropped by to ask why I've stopped Barking for Barack, especially with all the mayhem and foolishness that is Congressional Republicans, Flush Limbaugh, and the highly successful roll-out of Republican tokens Michael Steele and Bobby Jindal. (GOP: Diversity: UR DOIN IT RONG).

I have much more to say, especially about CPAC which, unfortunately, I had thought was going to be the first exciting meeting of the Corgador Pawlitical Action Committee (first goal: add bully stick procurement to the stimulus package.)

But it is the weekend and I am not going to let the nattering naboobs of negativity get me down so here's a picture to cheer you up:

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Truth is Stranger than Truth

The Daily Show dug up this 1986 ad for Tom Daschle who, of course, failed to pay taxes for a car and driver:



I could TOTALLY take the job Daschle wanted--Secretary of Health and Human Services! I am super healthy and I do service for humans every day. I bark at them to tell them it is time to feed me, I let them pet me, I let them tell me how handsome I am, I let them let me rest my head in their laps, etc.

Though I hear that they might be considering Dr. Howard Dean, former head of the DNC< Vermont governor and the screamiest Presidential candidate EVAH!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Lilly Ledbetter is the LAW

The first piece o' legislation signed into law by the President was Equal Pay for Equal Work!!! Look Steny Hoyer lurking in the back like he thought this signing would be a great place to show up and pick up chicks. (Just kidding, Steny!)

Here's what the President had to say:

It is fitting that with the very first bill I sign - the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Restoration Act - we are upholding one of this nation's first principles: that we are all created equal and each deserve a chance to pursue our own version of happiness.

It is also fitting that we are joined today by the woman after whom this bill is named - someone Michelle and I have had the privilege of getting to know for ourselves. Lilly Ledbetter didn't set out to be a trailblazer or a household name. She was just a good hard worker who did her job - and did it well - for nearly two decades before discovering that for years, she was paid less than her male colleagues for the very same work. Over the course of her career, she lost more than $200,000 in salary, and even more in pension and Social Security benefits - losses she still feels today.

Now, Lilly could have accepted her lot and moved on. She could have decided that it wasn't worth the hassle and harassment that would inevitably come with speaking up for what she deserved. But instead, she decided that there was a principle at stake, something worth fighting for. So she set out on a journey that would take more than ten years, take her all the way to the Supreme Court, and lead to this bill which will help others get the justice she was denied.

Because while this bill bears her name, Lilly knows this story isn't just about her. It's the story of women across this country still earning just 78 cents for every dollar men earn - women of color even less - which means that today, in the year 2009, countless women are still losing thousands of dollars in salary, income and retirement savings over the course of a lifetime.

But equal pay is by no means just a women's issue - it's a family issue. It's about parents who find themselves with less money for tuition or child care; couples who wind up with less to retire on; households where, when one breadwinner is paid less than she deserves, that's the difference between affording the mortgage - or not; between keeping the heat on, or paying the doctor's bills - or not. And in this economy, when so many folks are already working harder for less and struggling to get by, the last thing they can afford is losing part of each month's paycheck to simple discrimination.

So in signing this bill today, I intend to send a clear message: That making our economy work means making sure it works for everyone. That there are no second class citizens in our workplaces, and that it's not just unfair and illegal - but bad for business - to pay someone less because of their gender, age, race, ethnicity, religion or disability. And that justice isn't about some abstract legal theory, or footnote in a casebook - it's about how our laws affect the daily realities of people's lives: their ability to make a living and care for their families and achieve their goals.

Ultimately, though, equal pay isn't just an economic issue for millions of Americans and their families, it's a question of who we are - and whether we're truly living up to our fundamental ideals. Whether we'll do our part, as generations before us, to ensure those words put to paper more than 200 years ago really mean something - to breathe new life into them with the more enlightened understandings of our time.

That is what Lilly Ledbetter challenged us to do. And today, I sign this bill not just in her honor, but in honor of those who came before her. Women like my grandmother who worked in a bank all her life, and even after she hit that glass ceiling, kept getting up and giving her best every day, without complaint, because she wanted something better for me and my sister.

And I sign this bill for my daughters, and all those who will come after us, because I want them to grow up in a nation that values their contributions, where there are no limits to their dreams and they have opportunities their mothers and grandmothers never could have imagined.

In the end, that's why Lilly stayed the course. She knew it was too late for her - that this bill wouldn't undo the years of injustice she faced or restore the earnings she was denied. But this grandmother from Alabama kept on fighting, because she was thinking about the next generation. It's what we've always done in America - set our sights high for ourselves, but even higher for our children and grandchildren.

Now it's up to us to continue this work. This bill is an important step - a simple fix to ensure fundamental fairness to American workers - and I want to thank this remarkable and bi-partisan group of legislators who worked so hard to get it passed. And this is only the beginning. I know that if we stay focused, as Lilly did - and keep standing for what's right, as Lilly did - we will close that pay gap and ensure that our daughters have the same rights, the same chances, and the same freedom to pursue their dreams as our sons.

Thank you.

Friday, January 23, 2009

ZOMG! IMPEACH!


According to Slate, President Obama has committed both high crimes and misdemeanors by wearing an IMPROPER TUX! He wore a white tie at a black tie event! And white ties require tails! And something something with the pants and creases and the intricate rules of pants wearing! Why on earth has our President not been spending his time familiarizing himself with the ins and outs of outdated, fussy formal wear guidelines?

All hope is lost.

ETA: Khyra asked a VERY important tuxedo etiquette question: Boxer or Briefs. The answer is: KHOMMANDO!

First Three Days!


Here are some things that Obama has done that I like a whole lot:

1.) Suspended the "Global Gag Rule."
2.) Promised to sign the Lilly Ledbetter Equal Pay for Equal Work Act
3.) Promised to close Gitmo within the year
4.) Signed an executive order to declassify documents under FOIA
5.) Reiterated support for Roe v. Wade
6.) Dance the butt bump with a teenager from Delaware
7.) Make a joke about Biden stealing pens at an oath signing ceremony

What he has NOT done that makes me SO MAD:

1. ) Bring me to Dee Cee so I can hang out with Malia and Sasha and gossip about the Jonas Brothers.
2.) Let me follow around Rahm Emanuel to tough negotations so I can bite outta line Republican'ts.

Phox is Philthy!

A Fox "sexpert" gives her ahem, expert, opinion on the Obamas' relationship:



The "terrorist fist bump" is even more ominous than we knew!

Hehehehe. H/T to Pam at Pandagon.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A Review of the Inauguration Speech

I am too tired from all this blogeration so I will leave the criticism of the inaugural speech to a more seasoned and wise critic than myself:

THIS IS THE PRESIDENT!



ETA:



A Study in Opposites!

Dr. Strangelove himself:



Sheer awesomeness! (Behind my new moms Sasha and Malia is Michelle's mom Marian Robinson and Obama's sister Maya)

First Lady Lives Up to Her Name!

Mrs. Obama brought Mrs. Bush a present making her already pretty awesome.

The New York Times is liveblogging the inauguration festivities. I probably shouldn't lest I share facts like the fact that I hooted with joywhen I saw Cheney being pushed around in a wheelchair.

And my goodness there are a lot of Bidens.

And there are moving vans at the White House! Are they taking my monkey sticks in????

End of an Error!

What will we do with a President who has more than just a passing familiarity with the English language:


Some Moving Pictures

THREE HOURS LEFT! Can you even believe it??? Here are some movies to pass the time.

Tanks for my Memory (Warning: saucy language ahead):



Mr. President:



From Gus (Music!):

Monday, January 19, 2009

Saturday, January 17, 2009

O and Joe!


Prez O and his Veep Joe rolled through my town today on their way to Dee Cee and we gave 'em a good Eagles chant! Have a great ride an importantly--HAPPY BURPDAY MICHELLE!Link

Friday, January 16, 2009

G'bye Senator Joe the Biden!




My Senator and neighbor, Joe the Biden, had to say goodbye to the Senate. And, if we're lucky, he will be done with his speech by the time he has to be inaugurated on TUESDAY.

Won't it be nice when the phrase "Mr. Vice President" doesn't cause plants to wilt and small children to burst into tears? On Saturday Mr. President Elect Obama is going to stop by the train station in Wilmington to pick up Joe. I'm thinking about sending a bag of my stuff with Joe. You know, so that he can give them to my new moms, Malia and Sasha. I'm wondering if Obama is going to actually get off the train and come to Joe's door and meet his mom or if he's just going to honk.