Representative Wilson, the President is ready to see you.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Representative Wilson, the President is ready to see you.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
My fellow barkers Jake and Just Harry posted this link and I just had to re-post it (though you should go read their blog, too! They are wise wires!): Kennedy's Dogs Will Be Missed on the Hill.
With the exception of the Senate floor, there were few places Splash, Sunny and Oval Office. It was a rare day when the Massachusetts lawmaker wasn’t shadowed by at least one of the pooches, whether Kennedy’s schedule brought him an office full of visitors or a committee bill markup.didn’t have access to, including committee hearings and, once, even the
A powerful man with a booming voice and a formidable family legacy, Kennedy often used his dogs to break the ice with Republican lawmakers, to relax nervous visitors and to put political personalities to the sniff test.
...But Kennedy's dogs weren’t saints either. Like a parent of spoiled children, the senator was loving but a poor disciplinarian.
Splash has been known to bark impatiently during long meetings. The dog once sent White House staffers into a frenzy when the pooch began barking in the . Kennedy and his pets were at the White House waiting for the start of a religious freedom bill with .
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Joe Biden on Ted Kennedy:
From Jake and Just Harry:
If only his death has some meaning in helping restore a degree of civility and working for the common good.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Get yours here!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I had prepared a saucy rendition of Happy Burpday Mr. President but my ma ape said it was so hot it would melt the internets.
I say everyone have yourself a slice of cake to celebrate, the commander in chief's chief commander (me, not Rahm Emanuel!) says so!
UPDATE! The Prez just showed up at the press briefing to wish Helen Thomas, who is turning 84 today, a happy birthday and give her cupcakes. Woo!
OK, I had to add this photo because it is just THE AWESOME.
The president seems to enjoy distributing cakey substances. I hope this is not his health care plan, though I would like a cupcake WITH my single-payer health care plan. Frosted with low-low copays and a creamy affordable prescription drug plan inside. In the meantime I will continue to eat cupcakes. For my health.
Monday, July 13, 2009
|The Colbert Report||Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c|
|Exclusive - Backstage with Howard Dean|
And here is a funny Word from Stephen Colbert about the Obama administration and gay rights. Well played, Colbert.
|The Colbert Report||Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c|
|The Word - Stonewalling|
Yes, I have missed you, Stephen. I can't wait to hear what you have to say about The Sotomayor hearings. (Good luck, Sonia! And if you ever need a Wise Old Corgador as clerk, I'm your dude! I will need to nap between 9 a.m. and 4 p.m.)
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
My ma ape's discipline just lost a little street cred (and by street cred I mean nerd cred):
Alberto Gonzales lines up teaching gig for the fall.
Late Update: TPM Reader RS:
Please tell me there's at least one Texas Tech political science student with the guts to answer "I do not recall" to every test question. Maybe even "I do not recall remembering."
As the report I link above notes, Gonzo will be "teaching a 'special topics' course on contemporary issues in the executive branch."
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
If you have a Republican governor in your state I would strongly recommend figuring out if anyone is actually still doing their job.
In the meantime, I would like to announce that I am running to be governor of Alaska. It appears to require few skills and I have very few. I am too old to hike the Appalachian trail, though I will fess up to having fondness for Canadian Bacon. I have no ethics violations (I have been cleared of all charges after biting my gramps). I have been blogging for a long time so I have no doubt I could weather the glaring media scrutiny and even David Letterman making jokes about me. And I don't wear clothes so my wardrobe will be very inexpensive.
As a side note, I am not interested in moving to Alaska so I hope they have Skype on their computer.
AMENDMENT: Khyra is interested in being my Lieutenant Governor which I wholeheartedly endorse, especially since I will probably get bored after a few months and pursue my national political career which I am hoping will lead to a seat on the Supreme Court, preferably on the lap of Ruth Bader Ginsberg who is SASSY.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
If you are looking for something more worthwhile than
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
ARTESIA, N.M. - It was a humbling moment for the former commander in chief: President George W. Bush was walking former first dog Barney in his new Dallas neighborhood when it stopped in a neighbor's yard for relief.
"And there I was, former president of the United States of America, with a plastic bag on my hand," he told a group of graduating high school students in New Mexico on Thursday. "Life is returning back to normal."Dick "Dick" Cheney has not.
In his case I would not trust him around dogs.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
|The Daily Show With Jon Stewart||M - Th 11p / 10c|
|Arizona State Snubs Obama|
Or would Gus be playing beer pong with the coeds?
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
I was watching the news today and I had to cover Oscar's eyes and ears because Michele Bachmann had a particularly gross Hoot Smally (see below) today.
On Saturday, May 2, Bachmann delivered a rally speech in which she said the administration had engaged in an "orgy" of spending and that the government "spent its wad" too early. The previous administration, she noted, hadn't spent its wad until early August.
OHMYDOG Michele! Stop being so filthymouthed! She has been to too many teabagging parties, I think.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Michele Bachmann is best known as the Congresswoman from Minnesota who believed that Congress needed to hold hearings to root out unAmerican elements in their midst. But you might not have known that she can change history with her MIND. I offer as evidence:
1. Earlier this week she noted the HISTORICAL TRUTHINESS that there have been two swine flu epidemics in U.S. history and both of them under Democratic Presidents. First under Carter in 1976 and the second under Obama in 2009. The only problem? Carter did not become President until 1977. NO MIND!
2. Bachmann has declared that the Great Depression was caused by FDR and the Hoot-Smalley Act. PAY NO MIND to the fact that it was actually the Smoot-Hawley Act passed in 1929 and signed by PRESIDENT HOOVER.
So I would like to start a new meme. Any time a member of the GOP says something with complete HISTORICAL TRUTHINESS, I'd like you to think of me! As if you would say, That Michele Bachmann is a Hoot, Smalley Wally! You may shorten it to, "AW...Hoot, Smalley!" I think this new phrase will get a lot of use in the next few years.
What's that Dubya? America doesn't torture? Well Hoot Smalley!
Haha! Khyra reminded me of this doozy of a Hoot, Smally!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
And I know that we're in a recession but don't you think you could get the Secretary of State her own office?
Here's to 100 more, even better days! (more health care reformy, less recessiony):
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
My secret new Mom Michelle was quoted as saying that their new dog Bo is "kind of crazy":
It was like 10 o'clock. Everybody was asleep and we hear all this barking and jumping around," Mrs. Obama said. "The president and I came out and we thought somebody was out there. And it was just Bo. He was playing with his ball. And it was like there was another person in the house.
"He's kind of crazy, but he's still a puppy. So he likes to play a lot," she said.What was unspoken was "But our REAL dog, Wally, is a perfect angel. In fact we often crate Rahm Emanuel during Cabinet meetings so that Wally can sit at the table."
Thursday, April 23, 2009
I have a report from my secret undisclosed location. I had visitors. David Plouffe (Obama campaign manager) and Steve Schmidt (Rovian acolyte and senior adviser to McCain) were here. Dana Milbank wrote about it. So did I!
1. Steve Schmidt does not seem to like Sarah Palin.
2. Schmidt confirmed:
a) Joe Lieberman was McCain's pick but the party threatened a floor fight over abortion.
b) He supports same-sex marriage.
c) He was the one who didn't let Palin speak on election night. He said one of the most important parts of election night is conceding the loss and acknowledging the legitimacy of the process. He seemed to suggest either 1) Palin would not be conciliatory 2) she would be launching her next campaign instead of ending this one.
3. Plouffe was not crazy about the Clinton pick though he says he likes her now.
4. Plouffe and Obama are personality twins. They are both calm, measured, and funny and have the same vocal cadence and hand gestures. Either that or the campaign was, in fact, THE BORG.
5. Plouffe does a great job of why tackling energy and health care is not "taking on too much" and how they're integral to economic recovery. So why the administration ever lets Tim Geithner and Larry Summers in public is a mystery to me.
6. Mark Penn said, in Iowa, of the plethora of young volunteers who came out for the Jefferson-Jackson dinner for Obama "It looks like Facebook. Facebook doesn't caucus." HAHAHAHA. Why does that man get paid millions?
ETA: I suppose Schmidt gets some points for being conciliatory and certainly McCain's performance at the debates show that they were pretty resigned to a staggering defeat. When he referred to "that guy" you can imagine he felt a lot like the Yankees who were down by 20 runs in the 9th inning to the Indians. You want to give up. HOWEVER, if they were aware they were losing and had so much respect for the process, why did they go ahead with the kitchen sink strategy that included stoking racist fires with "pallin' around with terrorists" and the ACORN silliness, and the birth certificate madness they did little quash? Did they not think that just MIGHT interfere with the ability of the President to govern? And, frankly, I'm sick of them blaming "an unpopular president." He wasn't unpopular because he was wearing the wrong brand of jeans or something. He was unpopular because he had horrible policies informed by a flawed philosophy. A set of policies and a philosophy shared by the party as a whole and John McCain as a Republican! It's not the administration you should be blaming, it is your party's failed philosophy!
Here's a nice video about the torture memos and the bizarre logic behind why NO ONE is being punished for it:
|The Colbert Report|
So if you would like to feel a little bit empowered, Think Progress is hosting a petition that suggestions that maybe, just maybe, someone who authorized torture should not be a Federal Judge and so Jay Bybee should be impeached.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Thank goodness I have been neutered or I'd have to let me testicle humor fly. And no one wants to get hit in the face with THAT.
SEEEEEE, GOP! This is what you make me do!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Good on Bo for appearing to have zero interest in the media.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
OK, the news is out. The Obamas are getting a puppy named Bo, a Portuguese Water Dog who is a gift from Ted Kennedy. Or so it would seem.
The Secret Service was obviously worried about my safety since the Most Handsome First Dog ever would clearly be a target for pirates, terrorists, and other ne'er do wells. So Bo will be the public face of the first dog while I will be instrumental behind the scenes:
In a statement, the Kennedys said: "We couldn't be happier to see the joy that Bo is bringing to Malia and Sasha. We love our Portuguese Water Dogs and know that the girls -- and their parents -- will love theirs too."
The choice of a Portie raised one complication. The Obamas have long said they wanted a rescue dog. But the carefully bred PWDs almost never end up in shelters. Bo had been living with another family, but it wasn't a good fit, so the Kennedys acquired him for the Obamas.
As for the rescue pledge, the Obamas came up with a solution intended to lend a serious symbolic note: They're going to make a donation to the D.C. Humane Society.Bo will be introduced on Tuesday--I can't wait!
Friday, April 3, 2009
And when you're done you should settle in to enjoy the weekend and read a little "First Guns," the blog of Michelle Obama's arms--Thunder and Lightning! They're outspoken feminists. Go Lady Guns!
You should also read Khyra's selection--Margaret and Helen! They are two sassy old ladies who like to chat about pawlitics. If I wasn't about to move in with Malia & Sasha they would most def be my new moms! We could ride around on our scooters drinking gin and making rude jokes about Repuglicans!
Here's Howard Dean IN THE HOUSE!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
I know that it is HIGH TIME that I have a substantive post but today I feel like sharing this news from the G20 summit. Obama gave the Queen an iPod. I bet he told her how his daughters getting something even BETTER than a corgi--A CORGADOR.
Though I think he should consider bringing one of these guys back to lift his leg on the Republican caucus. I'm sure he could come up with a more reasonable budget than they did.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Dahlia Lithwick has a nice piece over on Slate about the latest trend in GOP hypocrisy (it never goes out of style!) They are now whining about Obama judicial nominees, demanding he re-nominate Bush nominees, his nominees aren't being open enough and oh yeah he's politicizing the prooooooooooocess.
I would like to propose a rule change. For each act of hypocrisy, we feed one of you to a hippo. The hippo may suffer a little indigestion but I think it is a sacrifice the hippos would make for us. Hipp-ocracy before Idiocracy!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
So this is the kind of tuff guy who would, in his very large vehicle with a group of people with him, choose to try to intimidate a woman by herself because she has an Obama magnet. I'm not going to speculate on his issues with masculinity but, well, you are welcome to do so. In any case, he's the kind of guy who would complain that our country is becoming socialist and guys like him outta Go Galt! He's like Joe the Plumber who complains that the government is going to tax him out of his ambition even though he is no where near the actual tax bracket whose taxes are going to return to the rate they were in the great communist heyday of the 1990s but he genuinely believes that if there were any justice in the world he WOULD BE but it is only that darned government and undeserving women/minorities, pointy headed academics, and OTHER PEOPLE who are keeping him from having the house with the pool and a wife half his age.
So, to this Manly Man who decided to antagonize MY friend. I understand that you're afraid of the government led by a President who speaks in complete sentences and so you have to pick on women. I understand, when you're that pathetic you do probably need something to give you hope that your life is not as meaningless as it actually seems. And I'm sure it doesn't feel good that you have, no doubt, voted (probably twice) for one of if not the worst President in history. You lose, man.
I have a sneaking suspicion you might have a lot in common with the guy interviewed here by Sam Bee. A shell of a human being. Not so bright, not realizing that YOU are the joke, on the losing side of history. You're the type of guy who actually thinks he deserves his AIG bonus because he works so much harder than and is so much smarter than other people even though he just ran everything into the ground. So here's a video for all the smart women who have to tolerate these *HBO WORD*s and have enough self-restraint to not stick their middle fingers in your eyes and/or point and laugh at your crotch.
I wish I could carry around Sam Bee with me at all time and unleash her on all the bullying jerks out there.
And dude? Yes, we are pretty happy. And we didn't even have to bully anyone to feel better about ourselves!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Gus sent me this vid of a sing-along version of the O'bama song! I like it because it sings about Joe Biden (his Mom, Katherine Eugenia Finnegan Biden--she's a wee bit Irish--is recovering from hip surgery! Get better, Jean!) And also it rhymes "ignorama" with "Obama." And "ignorama" is in reference to Dark Lord Cheney! ha-rooo! I'll drink to that!
Friday, March 13, 2009
I wonder why our only journalists are comedians (and the Republicans are the new--accidental--comedians).
And since we're all accused of socialism now that's a good excuse to post this.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Undignified: Swing set on lawn.
Dignified: President choking on pretzel during football game.
Undignified: Women with bare arms.
Dignified: Ann Coulter with bare legs and clavicles.
Undignified: A Presidential candidate who admits he tried cocaine as a teenager.
Dignified: A Presidential candidate with a DUI and a talk radio host who doctor shops for painkillers.
Undignified: "Conspiracy Theories" that terrorism suspects have been tortured in U.S. custody.
Dignified: Conspiracy Theories that the President is Not A U.S. Citizen. (Pssst--I bet the real birth certificate is hidden wherever the Clintons buried all those bodies.
Undignified: Inquiring about the health of a 72-year-old Presidential candidate who would be succeeded in office by someone who cannot name a Supreme Court case other than Roe v. Wade.
Dignified: Stating that a Supreme Court justice being treated for pancreatic cancer will be dead within the year as if that's a good thing.
I think I have made my point.
I have much more to say, especially about CPAC which, unfortunately, I had thought was going to be the first exciting meeting of the Corgador Pawlitical Action Committee (first goal: add bully stick procurement to the stimulus package.)
But it is the weekend and I am not going to let the nattering naboobs of negativity get me down so here's a picture to cheer you up:
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I could TOTALLY take the job Daschle wanted--Secretary of Health and Human Services! I am super healthy and I do service for humans every day. I bark at them to tell them it is time to feed me, I let them pet me, I let them tell me how handsome I am, I let them let me rest my head in their laps, etc.
Though I hear that they might be considering Dr. Howard Dean, former head of the DNC< Vermont governor and the screamiest Presidential candidate EVAH!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Here's what the President had to say:
It is fitting that with the very first bill I sign - the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Restoration Act - we are upholding one of this nation's first principles: that we are all created equal and each deserve a chance to pursue our own version of happiness.
It is also fitting that we are joined today by the woman after whom this bill is named - someone Michelle and I have had the privilege of getting to know for ourselves. Lilly Ledbetter didn't set out to be a trailblazer or a household name. She was just a good hard worker who did her job - and did it well - for nearly two decades before discovering that for years, she was paid less than her male colleagues for the very same work. Over the course of her career, she lost more than $200,000 in salary, and even more in pension and Social Security benefits - losses she still feels today.
Now, Lilly could have accepted her lot and moved on. She could have decided that it wasn't worth the hassle and harassment that would inevitably come with speaking up for what she deserved. But instead, she decided that there was a principle at stake, something worth fighting for. So she set out on a journey that would take more than ten years, take her all the way to the Supreme Court, and lead to this bill which will help others get the justice she was denied.
Because while this bill bears her name, Lilly knows this story isn't just about her. It's the story of women across this country still earning just 78 cents for every dollar men earn - women of color even less - which means that today, in the year 2009, countless women are still losing thousands of dollars in salary, income and retirement savings over the course of a lifetime.
But equal pay is by no means just a women's issue - it's a family issue. It's about parents who find themselves with less money for tuition or child care; couples who wind up with less to retire on; households where, when one breadwinner is paid less than she deserves, that's the difference between affording the mortgage - or not; between keeping the heat on, or paying the doctor's bills - or not. And in this economy, when so many folks are already working harder for less and struggling to get by, the last thing they can afford is losing part of each month's paycheck to simple discrimination.
So in signing this bill today, I intend to send a clear message: That making our economy work means making sure it works for everyone. That there are no second class citizens in our workplaces, and that it's not just unfair and illegal - but bad for business - to pay someone less because of their gender, age, race, ethnicity, religion or disability. And that justice isn't about some abstract legal theory, or footnote in a casebook - it's about how our laws affect the daily realities of people's lives: their ability to make a living and care for their families and achieve their goals.
Ultimately, though, equal pay isn't just an economic issue for millions of Americans and their families, it's a question of who we are - and whether we're truly living up to our fundamental ideals. Whether we'll do our part, as generations before us, to ensure those words put to paper more than 200 years ago really mean something - to breathe new life into them with the more enlightened understandings of our time.
That is what Lilly Ledbetter challenged us to do. And today, I sign this bill not just in her honor, but in honor of those who came before her. Women like my grandmother who worked in a bank all her life, and even after she hit that glass ceiling, kept getting up and giving her best every day, without complaint, because she wanted something better for me and my sister.
And I sign this bill for my daughters, and all those who will come after us, because I want them to grow up in a nation that values their contributions, where there are no limits to their dreams and they have opportunities their mothers and grandmothers never could have imagined.
In the end, that's why Lilly stayed the course. She knew it was too late for her - that this bill wouldn't undo the years of injustice she faced or restore the earnings she was denied. But this grandmother from Alabama kept on fighting, because she was thinking about the next generation. It's what we've always done in America - set our sights high for ourselves, but even higher for our children and grandchildren.
Now it's up to us to continue this work. This bill is an important step - a simple fix to ensure fundamental fairness to American workers - and I want to thank this remarkable and bi-partisan group of legislators who worked so hard to get it passed. And this is only the beginning. I know that if we stay focused, as Lilly did - and keep standing for what's right, as Lilly did - we will close that pay gap and ensure that our daughters have the same rights, the same chances, and the same freedom to pursue their dreams as our sons.
Friday, January 23, 2009
According to Slate, President Obama has committed both high crimes and misdemeanors by wearing an IMPROPER TUX! He wore a white tie at a black tie event! And white ties require tails! And something something with the pants and creases and the intricate rules of pants wearing! Why on earth has our President not been spending his time familiarizing himself with the ins and outs of outdated, fussy formal wear guidelines?
All hope is lost.
ETA: Khyra asked a VERY important tuxedo etiquette question: Boxer or Briefs. The answer is: KHOMMANDO!
Here are some things that Obama has done that I like a whole lot:
1.) Suspended the "Global Gag Rule."
2.) Promised to sign the Lilly Ledbetter Equal Pay for Equal Work Act
3.) Promised to close Gitmo within the year
4.) Signed an executive order to declassify documents under FOIA
5.) Reiterated support for Roe v. Wade
6.) Dance the butt bump with a teenager from Delaware
7.) Make a joke about Biden stealing pens at an oath signing ceremony
What he has NOT done that makes me SO MAD:
1. ) Bring me to Dee Cee so I can hang out with Malia and Sasha and gossip about the Jonas Brothers.
2.) Let me follow around Rahm Emanuel to tough negotations so I can bite outta line Republican'ts.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The New York Times is liveblogging the inauguration festivities. I probably shouldn't lest I share facts like the fact that I hooted with joywhen I saw Cheney being pushed around in a wheelchair.
And my goodness there are a lot of Bidens.
And there are moving vans at the White House! Are they taking my monkey sticks in????
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
My Senator and neighbor, Joe the Biden, had to say goodbye to the Senate. And, if we're lucky, he will be done with his speech by the time he has to be inaugurated on TUESDAY.
Won't it be nice when the phrase "Mr. Vice President" doesn't cause plants to wilt and small children to burst into tears? On Saturday Mr. President Elect Obama is going to stop by the train station in Wilmington to pick up Joe. I'm thinking about sending a bag of my stuff with Joe. You know, so that he can give them to my new moms, Malia and Sasha. I'm wondering if Obama is going to actually get off the train and come to Joe's door and meet his mom or if he's just going to honk.