Happy Burpday Malia (and America)

My new mom Malia is turning 11 today! What do you think she will get me?

Is Anyone in Charge? and An Announcement

If you have a Republican governor in your state I would strongly recommend figuring out if anyone is actually still doing their job.

In the meantime, I would like to announce that I am running to be governor of Alaska. It appears to require few skills and I have very few. I am too old to hike the Appalachian trail, though I will fess up to having fondness for Canadian Bacon. I have no ethics violations (I have been cleared of all charges after biting my gramps). I have been blogging for a long time so I have no doubt I could weather the glaring media scrutiny and even David Letterman making jokes about me. And I don't wear clothes so my wardrobe will be very inexpensive.
As a side note, I am not interested in moving to Alaska so I hope they have Skype on their computer.

AMENDMENT: Khyra is interested in being my Lieutenant Governor which I wholeheartedly endorse, especially since I will probably get bored after a few months and pursue my national political career which I am hoping will lead to a seat on the Supreme Court, preferably on the lap of Ruth Bader Ginsberg who is SASSY.

Don't Cry for me (in) Argentina!

So sorry for my unexplained absence. I have been hiking the Appalachian Trail practicing my wide stance bonding with Congressional pages comforting my videographer and/or staff members' wives trying to find a faithful Republican.

If you are looking for something more worthwhile than chasing Argentine Tail hiking the Appalachian Trail, you may want to watch Obama's special "Prescription for America."

Good Boy!

My buddy Moose was looking for video of this. I have only found the pho-to version. If anyone knows where to find the video please post it in comments!

(P.S. Bo was distracting the media so I could poop right where the Fox cameraguy was about to step. Ooops!)

Notes on the Former Administration

Former President Bush has found a job for which he is qualified:

ARTESIA, N.M. - It was a humbling moment for the former commander in chief: President George W. Bush was walking former first dog Barney in his new Dallas neighborhood when it stopped in a neighbor's yard for relief.

"And there I was, former president of the United States of America, with a plastic bag on my hand," he told a group of graduating high school students in New Mexico on Thursday. "Life is returning back to normal."

Dick "Dick" Cheney has not.

In his case I would not trust him around dogs.

Gus, You're Needed in Airy-Zona!

There has been some controversy about the decision by Arizona State to not honor President Obama, who is speaking at their graduation, with an honorary degree. Things appear to have really gone downhill there since Gus and his dad left. They clearly need his WFT wisdom BACK (his being Gus's but his dad is pretty darn smart, I mean, for a non-WFT):

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Arizona State Snubs Obama
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

Or would Gus be playing beer pong with the coeds?

Jokester in Chief

Here's the President at the Correspondent's Dinner. He's funny!

Ewwwwww!

I was watching the news today and I had to cover Oscar's eyes and ears because Michele Bachmann had a particularly gross Hoot Smally (see below) today.

On Saturday, May 2, Bachmann delivered a rally speech in which she said the administration had engaged in an "orgy" of spending and that the government "spent its wad" too early. The previous administration, she noted, hadn't spent its wad until early August.

OHMYDOG Michele! Stop being so filthymouthed! She has been to too many teabagging parties, I think.

HOOT, SMALLY!

Michele Bachmann is best known as the Congresswoman from Minnesota who believed that Congress needed to hold hearings to root out unAmerican elements in their midst. But you might not have known that she can change history with her MIND. I offer as evidence:

1. Earlier this week she noted the HISTORICAL TRUTHINESS that there have been two swine flu epidemics in U.S. history and both of them under Democratic Presidents. First under Carter in 1976 and the second under Obama in 2009. The only problem? Carter did not become President until 1977. NO MIND!

2. Bachmann has declared that the Great Depression was caused by FDR and the Hoot-Smalley Act. PAY NO MIND to the fact that it was actually the Smoot-Hawley Act passed in 1929 and signed by PRESIDENT HOOVER.

So I would like to start a new meme. Any time a member of the GOP says something with complete HISTORICAL TRUTHINESS, I'd like you to think of me! As if you would say, That Michele Bachmann is a Hoot, Smalley Wally! You may shorten it to, "AW...Hoot, Smalley!" I think this new phrase will get a lot of use in the next few years.

What's that Dubya? America doesn't torture? Well Hoot Smalley!

Haha! Khyra reminded me of this doozy of a Hoot, Smally!

100 Days!

President Obama has done many things in his first 100 days, most importantly keeping his campaign promise to get a dog. He also watched the Super Bowl in 3-D. You can read about 100 days here or look at the White House flickr photostream here!

And I know that we're in a recession but don't you think you could get the Secretary of State her own office?


Here's to 100 more, even better days! (more health care reformy, less recessiony):

Wheeeeeee!