Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Dear John





Dear Mr. Bush,

Just think, less than one week and you get to leave D.C., hang up your Mission Accomplished banner in Houston, and clear brush and drink O'Doul's to your heart's content. I saw your last press conference this week and you seemed a bit--how should I put this?--testy. I understand you feel that we don't appreciate your accomplishments: achieving an approval rating lower than Nixon's, sexually harassing the German President, commiting war crimes with no legal repercussions.

I know we as a country have asked a lot of you, often things that you could not do. That you not start unnecessary wars, that when an American city winds up underwater you have a plan for helping, that you follow the law and respect international conventions. You know, all that unreasonable stuff we asked. But I have one final request.

You have six days left. Resist the urge. DO NOT press the button.

Thank you,

Wally.

P.S. If it makes you feel better you have my permission to invade Canada. But only if you let us make Canada our 50th state. Oh yes, the 50th. We're giving Texas back to Mexico. (Not before liberating my pals. Sam, we might have to get hitched so you will be a citizen of the United States of Americanada.)

P.P.S. It's not you, it's me. Oh, no, it's you.

8 comments:

Lola Smiles said...

Why would you want to invade Canada? We're freezing our a$$es off right now Wally - it sux. I sooo could use Florida right now! :)

Sophie Brador said...

Wally, As long as you lead the invasion, I'm in. Oh, and no violence, unless instigated by me/ Can I come to the white house with you as the first dog's first Sophie?

xo
SB

Sophie Brador said...

Also, Lola is absolutely correct. We ARE freezing our a$$es off right now. Our asses too. I can totally vouch for her, cause she lives just up the road and over the bridge and down the highway a few miles. I'm on the island and she's off island. I have more inner city action, but she's got a way better yard than me.

xo
SB

Gus said...

Wally...we totally endorse the idea of trading Texas s for Canada. Having driven (or ridden) across both, I'll take Canada any day.

gussie

pee ess...and then I can practice my French, non?

Gus said...

peepsss...muzzer says "snarky" is how GW sounded in this interview. I take it, she doesn't approve of "snarky?"

g

Sophie Brador said...

That was snow pants! My ape pretty much lives in them these days.

I'm all for this Americananada thing, but I'm actually wondering if maybe we should call it Canadamerica. It really is easier to type.

xo
SB

Sophie Brador said...

Damn straight we're keeping Obama! We hate Harper and we're not so keen on the Queen either. Maybe in Canadamerica, we can do away with the monarchy. I also think that we could use a national anthem written by the Pogues.

xo
SBT

p.s. should I look for you at the inauguration ... on the TV, I mean?

Biggie-Z said...

Invasion is such an ugly word. Let's just trade. But first let's sneak the Palin family into Texas before we trade.